Sunday, July 26, 2020


has your heart been racing lately? i wake up hours before the sun to the pounding in my chest. no matter how many deep breaths i take, i can't get it to settle down. i lay there in darkness, searching my memories for you. i replay the first time i saw you smiling with your eyes and the familiarity of your sweet voice. i hold on to the way your laugh made me feel and the comfort of your stillness. in all honesty, i don't know much else about you, so i hold on to the only feelings that linger.

the bull

he’d always talk to me about leaving her, i just never believed he would. he’d tell me how she’s too small for him, and how suffocating it was getting. he was always searching for something bigger, and yet simpler. oddly enough he found a rowdy crowd. he found exhaust pipes and more tattoos to fill his body with. she’s asked me about him a few times, but honestly, i don’t really keep in touch.
i loved him too, babe, i’d always say. you weren’t the only one he left.
i lost my best friend, but los angeles lost her lover.


the moon shines above me, illuminating every one of my thoughts. she magnifies my fears while her stars silently surround me, always lending an ear. i wonder if she speaks to them, if she calls them by name. does she confide in their light? does she seek warmth from their flame?

i wish you would speak to me like you used to. 
i would tell you what a beautiful mess you have left me to become, always believing i was the only one. but you have many lovers, sweet moon. so i have saved my sighs for the rising sun.

the one

thoughts are racing through my head,
i have no words to give them meaning
and there’s this lingering, empty feeling
- reminding me we are apart
the nights are cold and sleepless
i have no one but myself to blame
my body, paralyzed by my own brain
- and my own manifested weakness
i anticipate my return to you
and though i know i left
i’ve become emotionally bereft
- at the absence of your being
i love you, my sweet city of angels
my home, my heart, my muse
i’ll return to you when i’m ready
- you’ll always be the one i choose